Why is Coffee a Better Presidential Candidate?

1. COFFEE IS COMFORTING BUT POWERFUL—ADMIRABLE OF ANY LEADER.

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2. IT HAS A 83% APPROVAL RATING

“About 83 percent of adults drink coffee in the U.S., the world’s biggest consumer of the beverage, up from 78 percent a year earlier, according to the National Coffee Association’s 2013 online survey. That’s an average of three cups a day per person.” –USA Today

3. EVEN IF YOU DON’T LIKE COFFEE, YOU STILL APPRECIATE WHAT IT CAN DO FOR OTHERS.

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4. I’M 100% FINE WITH COFFEE MAKING ALL OF MY DECISIONS FOR ME

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5. COFFEE CAN RELATE TO CITIZENS OF ANY BACKGROUND

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6. COFFEE CAN HANDLE HIGH-PRESSURE SITUATIONS.

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7. COFFEE DOESN’T SAY SILLY THINGS.

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8. COFFEE DOESN’T LIE.

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9. WHEN TRAGEDY STRIKES, COFFEE ALWAYS FINDS A WAY TO GET TO THE SCENE. NO EXCUSES.

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10. COFFEE IS ONE OF THE ONLY THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT CAN CONSISTENTLY BE THERE FOR ME.

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11. COFFEE UNIFIES PEOPLE

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12. FOR COFFEE, EDUCATION IS A PRIORITY.

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13. COFFEE HAS A CONSISTENT TRACK RECORD OF KEEPING MORAL AT 100%

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14. COFFEE IS GOOD FOR WOMEN’S HEALTH.

“In terms of performance during your cardio workout, caffeine “might be the difference between first place and last,” Dr. Vinson says. Without caffeine, not only are you a little slower mentally, you’re lagging physically. “Caffeine stimulates you to exercise 10 to 15 percent longer” because it keeps you from getting as tired, explains Terry Graham, Ph.D., a nutritionist who specializes in caffeine at Ontario’s University of Guelph.” –Women’s Health

15. COFFEE IS GOOD FOR MEN’S HEALTH.

“Sipping some coffee might reduce your risk of experiencing a condition that many say hurts worse than childbirth: kidney stones. In a study at Harvard, people who drank one of more servings of java a day were 26 percent less likely to develop kidney stones than those who consumed it less than once a week.” -Men’s Health

16. COFFEE CAN’T SPEAK, SO IT DOESN’T MAKE ME WANT TO THROW UP WHEN I HEAR IT’S VOICE

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17. COFFEE MAKES IT A POINT TO FACILITATE THE LIVES OF PARENTS RAISING CHILDREN.

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18. WHEN I BRING UP COFFEE AT THANKSGIVING DINNER, UNCLE JOE DOESN’T GET UNCOMFORTABLE.

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19. EVERYONE’S MORNING RITUALS WOULD BE PATRIOTIC BY DEFAULT

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20. COFFEE’S AGENDA IS ONE THAT I CAN GET BEHIND.

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21. COFFEE HAS OVER 400 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE IN MAKING THINGS WORK.

“In 1616, the Dutch founded the first European-owned coffee estate in Sri Lanka, then Ceylon, then Java in 1696. The French began growing coffee in the Caribbean, followed by the Spanish in Central America and the Portuguese in Brazil. European coffee houses sprang up in Italy and later France, where they reached a new level of popularity.” –PBS

22. COFFEE KEEPS THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE DOWN.

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23. COFFEE CARES ABOUT ROAD SAFETY.

“Drowsy driving is a major cause of many road accidents, so it makes sense that you might need a pick-me-up before you get behind the wheel.

Enter coffee: Researchers from the Netherlands found that people who consumed one cup of caffeinated coffee in the middle of a 4-hour-long tedious driving task swerved less, maintained their speed better, and rated their driving as more responsible than those who sipped decaf.” -Men’s Health

Share if you’d rather vote for coffee.

 

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